Male Attraction

(10:09:52 PM) jwsu: what kind of world do we live in where I'm attracted to another man.
(10:09:59 PM) jwsu: this just ain't right.
(10:10:04 PM) jwsu: don't you dare blog this fool.
(10:10:10 PM) jwsu: you or yvonne.

I believe context is in order.

Jeff IMs me.

 ï»¿(10:05:28 PM) jwsu: dude…
(10:05:31 PM) jwsu: did you get my email?
(10:05:37 PM) l1nu5: about you coming?
(10:05:40 PM) jwsu:
(10:05:42 PM) jwsu: no man.
(10:05:46 PM) jwsu: more important.
(10:05:53 PM) jwsu: does this chick look good to you?

You can answer that yourself.  Fact is that she is a he.  I guessed it though.  Why else ask that question?


Tim Thomas

And I had him on my fantasy team

314. Tim Thomas
I guess the question is this: Is there an NBA forward alive who couldn't play 31 minutes a game, score 12 points, notch five rebounds and three assists, miss 70 percent of his 3-pointers and allow his guy to score at will? If baseball has VORP (value over replacement player), then basketball should have VOTT (value over Tim Thomas). And that's not even half the story. During a Lakers-Clips game last week, the Postmaster General (that's my nickname for him) spent a large chunk of the third quarter jogging between the two 3-point lines without ever crossing either line, almost like he wagered a teammate that he could play an entire quarter without going within 24 feet of either basket. It might have been the most riveting moment of the Clippers' season. He's such a dog that PETA might protest this paragraph.


450. Stephon Marbury
Even before the season, Marbury looked like the favorite for my annual LVP ("Least Valuable Player") Award thanks to some peculiar TV interviews, a prominent role in the sexual harrassment suit against the Knicks and the inspiration for at least 50,000 fantasy team names that somehow involved the words "truck" and "party." Then the season started and he splintered the Knicks during a vicious argument with Isiah Thomas that included the reported threat, "He thinks he can [bleep] me, but I'll [bleep] him first." He was immortalized on YouTube with the superb "Night At The Starbury" parody. He played 24 games and participated in a whopping six victories (considering he makes $20 million, that's more than $3.3 million per victory), then took an extended leave of absence after his father's death and nobody cared if he came back. And finally, he opted for season-ending ankle surgery when he easily could have waited until the summer. We've had nuclear leaks that were remembered more positively than Marbury's 2007-08 season. (You know it has been memorable when you're asking with a straight face, "Do you think he'll even be alive in two years?" Did I mention that he's on the books for $21 million next season and might be the single most untradeable professional athlete since Rae Carruth's final days on the Panthers' roster? Now that, my friends, is an LVP.)