“Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I’ll go build my own lunar lander.
With blackjack… And hookers. In fact… forget the lunar lander and
the blackjack.”

– Bender

“Ah… well.. I’m going to build my own theme park. With blackjack and
hookers. In fact… forget the park”

– Bender

ALWAYS tell them you’re a guy.

So I get this IM from my cousin, except it doesn’t seem to be my cousin.
She claims to be “Stephanie the Great.” Whatever. One of my cousin’s
friends. I figure my cousin and her friend are just out to chat or bug
me or whatever. So anyways, the conversation continues. Ahoy, mate.
So she asks me if I’m a girl cause of my beautiful pink and purple font.
And I figure, since you’re the one who’s IMing me, you should know who
I am, or have an idea who I am, right? So of course I respond with
“maybe.” Our conversation continues. She’s asking about my name and
my screen name and whatever. And then all of the sudden she sends me
this IM:

since yer a girl…
u dont mind if i care with u…
TODAY i got my FIRST PERIOD!!! . it was scary

Umm… No… She goes on to say more; more that I ain’t going to
write down. It’s time for you to get blocked. I don’t care if you
were just playing with me. You getting blocked either way. And I don’t
care if you’re using my cousin’s screen name. She getting blocked too.
Sorry, Tiffany. I got to do what I got to do.

Moral of the story: ALWAYS tell them you’re a guy.

http://www.calebcarruth.com/MP3/Caleb%20Carruth%20-%20Track%20%204.MP3

Vegas by Caleb Carruth

a brief encounter in the city of sin
in walks the devil
isn’t she so beautiful
she says “I hear they grow nice things in Texas,
that will alter your perceptions”
I correspond the secret, no, respond with a smile

don’t believe my lies
I’ve been known to let you down
in practice, I preach it better not to offend than to change a life
forgive me, I’ve sentenced you to die
as it all comes down to this one thing
I know my faith is a lie

it’s not nerves that I won’t speak
or the apathy within me
she chose or HE chose and if i speak will she be culpable

I’ve had it up to here now
I do this all the time
make war with my insides and insights that blind
and I know that you are the way, the truth and the life
a gift freely given