The fires down here are going crazy! I can see the fires on the hills.
They’re lighting ths sky now. I ain’t never seen it this bad. It’s only
a few miles away. I can see the flames burning.

Oh man. I got to watch this movie. I think this got worse reviews that
Battlefield Earth.

I’m sick of the Emmys. I can’t even stand to listen to the winners anymore.

I saw the new Santana and Michelle Branch video today. Man. I couldn’t
live in that town. Weird, weird, weird video. At least Santana and
Michelle Branch didn’t start kissing at the end of the video… ew…
mmmm… Michelle Branch…

I might have gotten one of my kids busted yesterday. I don’t think so though.
Hey! She told me 5:30 to 6:00. So I naturally assume get her home by 6.
I figure leave at 5:30, get there by 5:45. Be there early. Well…

Pretty relaxing weekend. Lots chillin’. Watched some football. Dolphins
off to a 3-0 start. Things are looking good.

Dang. My parent’s monitor is nice. I think it looks better than my
monitor. Trinitrons. Got to love them.

So I’m copying some games over to my parent’s computer. Vegas Gambler.
EGA graphics. I’m surprised the game has lasted this long. This game
running on my 8088.

So my parent’s new Dell is up and running. This thing flies. I wonder
how fast it can encode videos.

Dude. PS/2 keyboard? PS/2 mouse??? What’s up with this legacy
stuff man! Where’s the USB stuff?

So I went to Jeff, Clara, and Yvonne’s China Vision trip sharing thingy tonight.
I haven’t felt that uncomfortable in a long time. There were just so many
people there I didn’t know. It was a total social setting in the beginning and
I didn’t want to socialize. I mean there were some SGVAC people there, and if I
did any talking, which wasn’t much, it was to them. Of course Eric wasn’t there,
Jeff and Jenn showed up later, and Yvonne was busy preparing and chatting with
people. I had no one to help ease my discomfort.

Thing is I like talking. I like talking when I’m comfortable. I guess it’s
cause I can. But then I get put into a situation like this and it kills me.
And I haven’t been like this in a real long time. I hate this introducing,
get to know the very littlest about you chit-chat. I hate talking to strangers.
Thing is, for the past year I’ve only been in situations where I’ve been
comfortable. All I do is hang around with my parents, my friends from church
and work. I’m around the same people all the time.

I don’t think most people understand what I go through. I hate feeling like
this. Don’t think I just don’t like talking to people or I’m shy. I was
getting a headache and light-headed. It is an anxiety I do feel and it sucks.
It would have been so much better if Jeff, Eric or Jenn was there for me to
talk to. Or if I had been able to talk Yvonne. Someone. Anyone. I should
have just gone and chilled with Cindy’s kids. I wanted to. It would have
been easy to talk to them.

I think it’s really weird. When I started Agape fellowship, I had no problem
talking to my kids. I wasn’t necessarily comfortable talking to them, but
I did cause I wanted to. So I don’t know why I’m not able to talk to these

The presentation was good though. I enjoyed their sharing. It was at that
point where I started feeling better, probably cause I didn’t feel compelled
to socialized with these strangers. I feel bad about not saying goodbye to
Yvonne. Shoot. I didn’t even get to say hi to her. Oh wells… Of course
I didn’t start to feel comfortable until we went outside and all the SGVAC
peeps came out to talk. They might have felt the same way I did. Who knows?

I’m looking forward to getting to heaven. None of this anxiety stuff. Perfect
worship. Perfect fellowship. None of these distractions.