[email protected] just went bankrupt and now I have to use dial-up. I don’t know
how many times I can say dial-up sucks, but I’ll have to say it again.

Dial-up sucks.

So I told Jenn that I’d write about my plans to be a wedding planner. So
hopefully I can remember everything now. After you read this, everybody
will be asking me to plan their weddings.

The Goal: Rose Bowl

So I was looking up prices on this party thingy store. You could rent chairs
and tables and dishes and plates and whatnot from this store. Expensive
stuff. I was trying to convince Jeff he needed to have 2000 people at his
wedding. And if he did I’d give him a hundred bucks. And then Jeff gave me
the idea of charging people to come the wedding. *ding* Hmm….

Why can’t we make a profit during this wedding?

I figure we start off small for the first wedding. Aim for 5000 people. I
figure I can charge 50 bucks per person at the banquet. 5000 people.
50 bucks a pop. That’s 250 grand income right there. I figure if they’re
going to pay to come, it’s going to have to be a grand ol’ party. And it
will be. So you bring in 250 grand. Let’s say the wedding/banquet cost
100 grand. 150 grand in profit right there. I take my share 25% and the
rest goes to Jeff and Jenn (assuming she wants to get in on this cash cow).

But that’s just the beginning. Now here’s the trick. You say, “oh this is
only a one time thing.” WRONG! This is going to be a money maker. Next
year, why don’t renew the vows? Another party, only bigger and better than
the last. The second year we’ll get 10000 people. And then the year after
that 15000. Pretty soon, we’ll be renting out Edison Field, the Big Ed, to
host the party. It’s going to be THE event of the year:

“Jeff Su’s Wedding”

The goal: Rose Bowl

100,000 capacity. 100 bucks per person. That’s 10 mil right there, and
we’re not even counting the merchandise. We got t-shirts. We got mugs.
We got autographed pictures. We got the new CD, “Jeff Su’s Wedding: The
Album.” We’ll be selling the Jeff Su Wedding DVD. Jeff Su’s Wedding:
the Video Game.

And after that, it’s over. The final event for Jeff.

Now I know you all want me to plan your weddings for you, but I only work
with Jeff. I can’t undermine THE event of the year by making another grand
event. You’ll just have to wait until after the Rose Bowl. And then
I’ll start all over again. This is going to be sweet.